I'll let you know


I'll let you know...

I laugh , i cry 
I'm the happiest , I'm wholly depressed. 
I enjoy living to the fullest , I curse out the day i was born 
I love some people , those same would irritate me as well. 
I slept all day doing nothing, I did spent 15 hr straight working .
I self doubt myself every other day, I'll be one of the most confident person you'll see. 
I curse myself when I can't do things according to my schedule, I take care of myself when I need it the most dumping my schedule aside.
I frequently forget to drink water the whole day , I spent a whole month eating the best diet for myself.
I will spend my time reading toxic shit , I will spend alot more to read things to heal myself 
I will overthink things like I've done a phd in it , I will shameless ignore things like im a selfish bitch indeed.
I hate myself for being so weak , but I proudly go on to call myself the strongest geek.

Who am i ? 
I'll let you know when i die.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Anxiety before the adventure

Image
                     The anxiety before the adventure. Have you ever heard of the silence before the storm. Im sure its quite famous.  Now have you ever heard of the anxiety before the adventure?  Its a new slang isnt it?  But im sure you might have felt it. During our life you have faced alot of things , both good and bad.  But for those who have been into the darkest part of their lives might actually relate to me about this one.  Remember the time when nothing excites you,  No one could manage to make you happy.  Everyday was a challenge in its self.  And everything was just plain and nothing else.  You're so much exhausted with everything and everyone that you just feel like giving up.  But thats when that anxiety hits. That too when you're in your lowest. After a certain period, you feel kind of hopeless,  Yet You feel kind of scared of whats gonna come next....
Read more

The war in our head

Image
The thing is we always feel that we are alone in the war .. may it be in front of our eyes or the back of our mind at some point of our life we will always feel that we are alone in this mess .. no one would be able to understand us .. the main problem is we think we are alone .. but there are many people who is fighting the same war that you may never know .. unless you share... But you gotta share it with that someone who is fighting the same war or who has been in the same war before ..because  the king may never know what the soldiers eyes just saw ..I can definitely understand that no one wants to share anything in the world full of judgy eyes lingering around all the time .. just thinking of the fact that I can't take back the things I share , the trust after all is nothing to do  .. because all I need was just a little understanding to do .. I needed to understand not everyone can see the darkness through my eyes not everyone can feel the pain through my bon...
Read more

Does it makes sense ?

Image
What does one do when theres no light around them ? What does one do they cant see the next step they are going to take? What does one do when they dont have a pillar to take a support from ? What does one do when they sleep but can't rest  Does it even makes sense?  What does one do when there's no motivation around them? When all the people around you do is nothing but drag you down? When all u ever want is to just vanish from the face of the earth? What do u do when u don't even have the energy to take your next breath? Does it make sense ? This question alone takes a lot of energy from me. Thinking about something for a long time makes me nauseated. Thinking about me makes me irritated  I make myself irritated.  And there goes my favorite question  Does it make sense? It feels like i dont even want me for myself  Someone just take control of me and tell me how  should i breathe.  Someone just come and make this all go away.  B...
Read more